Even CDOs have better prospects

They told him when he was a kid and didn't have the time to study for exams, that if he is so irresponsible he will never get a good job. And somehow, his parents, like most of the other million parents in India convinced him that getting a good job tantamounts to working in the US and this is the ultimate requirement for a marrying a beautiful girl. However, now that he did the former the latter doesn't seem to happen. He is facing a crisis that was a resultant of the sub-prime crisis which if not resolved quickly could very well lead to a premature mid-life crisis. He could not find a life partner. 

His parents have tried a lot. They went to Brahmin's Association and released multiple editions of his horoscopes and followed it up with frequent updates of his resumes. They never missed a marriage because that is where most of the networking for future alliances happen. And they were proactive enough to even attend all Sabhas in December. Still, nothing happened. His parents even told him that if he finds a girl in US it is alright with them as long as she is a Tamil Brahmin. How would they know that they are talking about an impossibility. Girls nowadays are 'committed' before they even come to the US. Those darned guys in colleges are smarter now than they were during his college days. Still if there are some single girls in US they tend to get into a relationship within their first year at a University to a proactive guy who provided them with unsolicited taxi services. And the microscopic population of girls who escaped all these vices and are still in the market tend to be those that are too overwhelming for him because of their newly acquired 'independent, career oriented' mindsets or because they just dont live up to his expectations of being a homely girl. 

His parents broadened their scope and shortlisted some girls and asked him to come to India. When he went there, he realized that people no longer were interested in US: either they did not like going to US or they were just afraid to marry a person whose job is dangling more freely than the sacred thaali. Apparently the stocks of a guy working in US have crashed along with Wall Street.

He felt totally short-sold  and had almost decided that his fate was to be a bachelor for life, when he picked up today's newspaper. His eyes skimmed through the entire article but locked onto one paragraph:

For instance, Ms. Seth says she likes nice clothes and would like to have a flat-screen TV. "Is he really prepared to provide the kind of lifestyle that I have right now?" She expects a husband to earn more than she does.

This somehow made him happy. All hopes may not be lost yet. So with a renewed vigor and with an optimism fueled by desperation, he logged onto his computer. "can i be your fraanship?" he typed. Maybe she could be the one, he thought as he clicked on send.

P.S.: This was obviously inspired by the linked article and a recent spurt in the demand for a story by me from some good samaritans who, I think, did it just to keep me in good spirits hoping that I don't take their request seriously.