There is this guy in my office. I talked to him because I was told he is from Chennai. Apparently, he is one of those pseudo chennaiite (Bombay roots, Kannadiga stem etc.). This fellow got American Citizenship, thinks he was born in Ohio and talks like he studied at MIT (not Muthukumaran Institute of Technology, mind you!). I was forewarned by others that he is a psycho and one of those desis trying to assimilate with the Whites by berating Indianism (any act or stereotypes associated with an Indian, basically). Still I got to talk to him, mainly because he takes a smoking break every half hour and the designated smoking area happens to be near the labs where I work. To quote a colleague, he walks like Sid the Sloth in Ice Age; slow with drooping head as if he is ready to drop down any minute.
Anyways, so this sloth went to Chennai for 2 weeks after complaining loudly a 100 times how he doesn't feel like going, and he is forced to go only because his mother is there and his wife wanted to go visit her parents, and how the company stock prices are going to crash in the two weeks of his absence. After two weeks of granting bliss to people in my office with his absence he returned recently. I avoided him by taking all the preplanned routes out of my labs so I really didn't get to hear his horror stories, except for the one time when he complained how sewage was literally running everywhere in Chennai's roads and how Spencer Plaza and all the Mega malls and Mini malls were baaaddddd and uaaackkk.
Anyway, I ignored all these nonsense because you know that story about throwing kallu on seru. But soon my colleagues started coming to me one by one and asking, "Is this true? Is there garbage everywhere in your city?", "Is your house situated amidst a huge pile of trash? Because this guy just showed me pics of his trip and there were houses right next to garbage","There were dirty cows on the road. He said they are everywhere in the city, is it true?" and the kickass "he said it touched 125F when he was there it must be horrible".
Ok, there are dirty cows, garbage heaps but they aren't everywhere. This guy found immense pleasure in saying how dirty his city and country was and had tried to tell them he never wants to go back. And I am damn sure it didn't touch 125F in the last two weeks for sure. In fact for the first time there were a few days during which it was hotter here than in Chennai! So I couldn't hold back anymore and gave a long lecture to my colleagues on how this guy has been exaggerating many things, and how temperatures never touch 125F unless you are in Sahara desert. Anyhow, at the end of it all I felt angrier than ever.
Ivana elaam paduka vechu Asok Leylaand lorry aala yethanum. Raascal.
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